- 60% of the conversation we had over the span of an hour was filled with jokes, everyone needs a laugh now and again, but again, for a serious matter I found it difficult to understand the warden’s jokes, and by the time my mum had explained them to me, they were far from funny! My mum (sitting in on the conversation, and glad I preempted this,) attempted to explain that “my daughter doesn’t always understand jokes.) But no – unfortunately no understanding there.
- “I’ve had much worse” and “other people have it much worse than this.” The Warden, in an attempt to make me feel better about the situation unknowingly made it worse! By proceeding to tell me that “only last week someone tried to kill me.” And that “in other areas they have it much worse than this.” Leaving me with the feeling that I don’t really wish to stick around to allow it to get this bad! For me it is difficult to see the outer world when I’m under great stress in my little world – within my family and surroundings, it may be the case that situations are much worse in inner city areas, but we are based in a small village and I didn’t feel that my situation and feelings were taken seriously, I didn’t need to have the worry placed into my head about how worse it can get.
- The warden referred to ‘my anxiety’ and ‘seeing things differently,’ which, yes I do, but I felt belittled in the situation that I feel very unhappy about, I don’t think any family with young children should have to put up with such anti-social behaviours, regardless of whether they have anxiety or not.
- The warden said directly to me: “What have they done?” I referred to the 2 sides of A4, (the ASB diary,) that I’d been asked to keep, so I replied: “Here, it’s all written down.” To which the warden replied: “No, what have they done to you?” My mum had to explain that the warden meant physically, what have they done, but physically I haven’t been attacked, why should it even have to reach this point? I cannot even stand to have other people, (other than close family members,) touch me, let alone stay around long enough to let anyone physically attack me, the warden said that the only way an ASB complaint would be taken seriously was if I was physically attacked! How could the warden even put this in my head that this could happen? Making me even more fearful. So banging loudly on my door and running away and having confrontations in the street shouldn’t be taken seriously? What about intimidation? What about the mental affects? It doesn’t always need to be physical.
Now I refer to the legislation that I’m currently learning about in my ‘Understanding Autism’ course, I am very grateful I had my mum present during this meeting to act as an advocate, to aid my understanding and decipher the ‘hidden meanings’ and sarcasm that this conversation was sadly full of. After this interaction I have since learnt that:
The Autism Act 2009: “informs local authorities, what actions should be taken to meet the needs of individuals with autism living in their area.” It states that local authorities:
“should provide autism awareness training for all staff.”
(Source: NCFE Certificate in Understanding Autism Workbook 1.)
If the warden had this awareness training then they would have known:
- Not to fill 60% of time out of the hour with jokes.
- Not to criticize the length of complaint given.
- Not to state what is happening in the cases of people outside the immediate environment.
- Not to use anxiety as an excuse for experiencing problems with the housing situation.
- To listen and be respectful and be careful not to put extra stress onto the person via ‘hidden meanings’ in the conversation, to use clear and concise questioning.
- Not to use sarcasm in the conversation, as it can make the person feel belittled and will shut down.
- That people with ASD are often affected by loud noises, such as people shouting and confrontations.
People with mental health difficulties, and disabilities, such as ASD/ASC experience this sort of lack of awareness and understanding everyday. I want to do my best to combat this so that other people don’t have to experience the same as what I have.
And I still don’t know what is happening with the housing situation, we have a view to move, even though we are not the ones causing all of the issues, but I will do everything in my power to keep my children safe, there is also the issue that Lou is finding sharing a bedroom with her younger sister difficult and should really have her own specified space to allow her to calm in her own environment and Moo should have her own room as her ‘safe zone,’ where she can retreat to if Lou is having a ‘sensory overload.’ The uncertainty is unnerving, but watch this space.